Hope is not a familiar face, but pray It could be

Situations arise and we are without control.
Our hands tied. Our will no longer our own.
Hope is defined as an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large.

As a verb, it’s definitions include:

"expect with confidence"
and
"to cherish a desire with anticipation."

but I am without thought of such good things in this moment

or any really moment beyond now

The future looms
as the Impending fall of the great wave
And I find I am cold beneath the shadow it casts

If only it would all just cease .
I have been living without breath pause between the moment of what is, and what will be assuming always my own inability to swim

in my disorientation

I fear each desperate stroke to the top for air will be a movement downwards

into the crushing weight of unending struggle

The burden of living
So I do not move at all
But just maybe
Floating
If i opened my eyes I would see

Myself suspended amid the beauty
I would finally know its purpose, and I would not hope for the end
and just maybe, as I **acquiesce** to breathe my last I would find

I always has been made with gills